Day 55: Make the What?

I will choose to find a positive perspective under even the most negative circumstances.
I will choose acceptance over resistance.
I will choose to focus on the things I value about my children, not the things that drive me nuts.
I will choose to extend the same grace, love and forgiveness to myself that I try to lavish on my husband and children each day.

What comes to mind when you look at that bed? Cozy, comfy, inviting... Not me. When I look at that bed, I think: Childless.

There was a time when making the bed, ridiculous decorative pillows and all, was therapeutic. Lining up the seams precisely, fluffing each pillow to perfection, straightening and re-straightening, then stepping back to take a deep breath and soak it in. It was like a calming ritual. And each time I'd walk past it, it would refresh me and renew a sense of peace and order.

Nowadays my bed looks more like this.

I'd have taken an actual picture of our bed, but it would've been a little too embarrassing. The covers are perpetually falling off the end, the pillows are never at the head, and at any given time you can find random socks, diapers and other various items strewn across it. Not exactly peaceful.

I could experience it as a chaotic space, but instead I want to look past the surface and see the peace that underlies all that chaos.

This is the space where I connect with Max. When he's snuggled up next to me and Nick at night, the covers fall because we keep each other warm. The pillows are out of place because he still wants to nap in the place he feels most secure - our bed - and thus I must barricade him with pillows now that he's semi-mobile. The items that litter the bed are evidence of a baby well-loved and cared for.

The things that bring all that external chaos to our bed bring so much internal peace to me and Max. I wouldn't trade any of it.

So now the mission is to find another, easily completed daily task that can bring peaceful energy and a sense of order like the bed used to.