Day 19: Eat it or Else

I will choose to find a positive perspective under even the most negative circumstances.
I will choose acceptance over resistance.
I will choose to focus on the things I value about my children, not the things that drive me nuts.
I will choose to extend the same grace, love and forgiveness to myself that I try to lavish on my husband and children each day.

Sometimes I wonder how I end up so far from where I want to be...

Jackson has been amazing through all the diet restrictions and we're equally amazed at the healing his body is undergoing already. My sweet boy doesn't incessantly ask for bananas or granola, not even toast, which was a favorite. He happily chooses between brussels sprouts and collard greens for supper (greens won tonight) and eats mashed cauliflower as if he didn't miss mashed potatoes at all. 

Overall, things haven't been so bad on the food front. He's adjusting perfectly. I on the other hand, have struggled to keep up with some changes. One of these is a significant reduction in the amount of food he's eating. And I've let it become a power struggle. It's one that doesn't need to be fought and no one wins. 

I've always believed that he was the only one capable of knowing when he was hungry and full and that he should never be forced to eat or restricted because of that. I simply want him to listen to his body's cues. Up to this point that has meant watching him consume mass quantities of food. But now that his body is digesting properly and he's absorbing more of what he eats, he doesn't need to eat as much. 

But watching him so dramatically reduce his food intake so quickly made me nervous. Then after a few successive small meals, I got anxious. First it was, "Just a few more bites." And before I knew it, "You're not getting out of this chair until you eat five more bites." What I got instead of peace of mind about getting 'enough' food in his body was a screaming little boy who couldn't understand why I was taking away his power to decide what his body needed. Duh.

Fortunately, the screaming jolted my brain and brought me back to a state of conscious parenting - parenting based on trust not fear. So I utilized one of our "tools" and decided to start over. Fortunately, Jackson is quick to forgive and we moved on with our day.

I wish I hadn't had to stray so very far before I came back to center, but I'm thankful that I have a little boy who won't allow me to make those mistakes unchecked.